


Tears

by madlysanecatlady



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst, Death, Gladnis, Hurt, I'm so sorry, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-07 02:03:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15898671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madlysanecatlady/pseuds/madlysanecatlady
Summary: Tears touch you most deeply when you know why they're falling, and most of all when you know they are out of love.





	Tears

I had always known you would outlive me. You would always argue with me, citing my healthy habits and sheer stubbornness, but I knew. The ring of the Lucii had taken its toll on my body, and while the effects had taken their time, I knew the ring would take its final price eventually. This was to be expected, really, not a shock at all, but what I really hadn’t expected was to be afforded a look at the aftermath.

It feels strange, at first, seeing your face for the first time after so many years. You are slightly weathered, lines around your eyes and at your forehead, where I had felt them forming and settling, but they do nothing to detract from your rugged handsomeness. Your hair, silky and jet black in my memory is now almost completely greyed, but still soft and airy as years of looking through touch taught me. Your physique is large as ever, slightly softer than it had been in our prime, but looking incredible in the smooth black of your sombre suit. You are every bit as beautiful as I imagined and more, but what truly captures my attention are your eyes, as amber as ever, but filled to the brim and overflowing with tears.

A lifetime of questions appears trapped behind frowning, lined lips as you help to carry the casket toward the cemetery. Questions I have heard many times before and done my best to answer for you, but never really could. _How did I know I would outlive you?_ It was simply a feeling that had plagued me from the moment I awoke to your sobbing at my bedside after that terrible day in Altissia. I can’t explain it any more than you can, dear. _How am I always right?_ I smile, really unsure if my incorporeal form even has lips with which _to_ smile, but the feeling is there. You and I could both count the number of time I’ve been wrong on one hand. I would never deign to say I never make mistakes, but it would be lying to say they were anything but rare. I was right many times before this, this time was no different, simply the last in a long line of years of my being right. _Why did I choose you?_ Truth be told, dearest, I never did. I fell in love with you without ever noticing until it was _far_ too late. I love you still. I hope you know that.

The tears continue to flow down your cheeks following the patterns of scarring and wrinkles before falling to your chest, glistening in the late afternoon sunshine. I want so badly to reach out and dry those tears from your cheeks, to reassure you that I’m alright, that I’m still here with you. Although, I know I might not be much longer. My time here feels limited. You would laugh and ask me how I know that, but again, it’s just one of those things I know and feel but cannot begin to explain. You would laugh and ruffle my hair, kissing my face, telling me you love how sure I always am of myself.

I miss it already. I miss the feeling of your hands in my hair, your lips on mine, your voice in my ears. I feel the magnitude of grief settling over me as I truly begin to realise it’s all over. I can’t even begin to imagine how it must feel for you, the one I’m leaving behind. I’m struck with the urge to match your tears with my own, but again, I doubt the state I’m in will allow it.

Your words about me are beautiful. I’m struck by the poise you are able to gather to speak them as the small group of our friends and family sit watching, many crying along with you, their tears adding to the tight sadness I’m feeling along with you. I knew I was well-loved while I lived, but this truly did offer me some perspective; a ray of happiness in the shadows of sadness hanging over us all. I swell with love and pride as you finish up, leaving a single yellow rose, my favourite flower, atop my casket, maintaining your composure until you are seated next to Prompto. You were always the strongest man I know; why should this day be any different?

Iris is speaking next, he words coated with thick tears, still eloquent as to be expected from an Amicitia, but laced with the freer emotion she was always allowed without station as stalwart Shield hanging atop her head, weighing her down. I listen for a while, but feel my attention constantly drifting back to you, the tears still flowing down your cheeks.

I marvel at the sheer number you’ve cried, filled with wonder at the fact that you seem ready to continue producing more. It hurts me to see you like this, to see you in so much pain. It’s worse knowing I’m the cause of your tears, the reason you’re hurting so. I want nothing more than to reach out and take you into my arms, even if only for one last time, to hold you and squeeze the pain right out of you. But even as I try, I can feel my hold on this plane fizzling, can feel myself slipping away.

I look round and can’t help but smile. Noct is there, smiling at me, beckoning me over to him, welcoming me to my eternity. I’m so happy to see him again after so long but still, I hesitate. I’m not ready to leave you, not when you are so filled with sorrow.

Mustering every ounce of strength I possess, I force myself forward, even as I feel myself slipping away. I come into as solid a form as I can in front of you, reaching out to dry the tears from your cheeks. You go still, looking up wildly, and I know you cannot see me, yet you know it is me.

‘Iggy?’ You whisper under your breath, the tears _finally_ breaking, no more coming to replace the ones I’ve dried. ‘Iggy please… I love you.’

I can hear the plea in your voice, the plea you are too kind to put into words. You don’t want me to leave you, but you will not voice it, knowing how difficult this is for me as well. I want to take in a shuddering, sob-choked breath but know I cannot, but still, I will every ounce of energy I can towards you, to give you one last thing to hold on to. ‘I love you Gladiolus. I will be with you always.’

I can’t be sure you heard the words, but I know you felt them. You smile at me ever so briefly from under tear-stained cheeks and give a tiny nod, knowing my time here is waning. I can hear Noct calling for me; can you hear it too? My strength is waning, the sight of you flickering before me. I know my time is up. With my last ounce of power I press a kiss to your lips, tasting the salt of dried tears as Noct comes forward to greet me. I follow him now, leaving you behind, knowing you will one day follow. I will be here to greet you, my love. I will be here waiting for you, and when that moment comes, new tears will flow, tears of untold joy and happiness as we are once again reunited. And this time, nothing, not a single thing will ever cause those tears to flow from your beautiful eyes again.

**Author's Note:**

> I really don't know where this comes from. The whole thing just sorta wrote itself while I was singing along to the song Tears by Rush. Sorry for making y'all suffer with me.


End file.
